sometimes, when Supe was stopping crimes, i bet he was tempted to just quit and turn his back on man, join Tarzan in the jungle...

but he, stayed in the city. kept on changing clothes in dirty ol' phone booths 'till his work was through, had nothing to do but go on home. Superman never made any money, saving the world from Solomon Grundy and sometimes i despair the world will never find another man like him...

sometimes i'll be going about my day, doing my day type things, and i'll have a thought, well more than a thought because it's a thought in exactly journal ready terminoligy and phrasing. and i think "i'll have to remember to put that in." but i usually forget unless i do it right away. but it's kind of weird that my thought patterns are starting to liken my journal writing style. eh? don't you think?

it's been a good week so far. this is because i've been working on my rut. and any work on a rut feels good. just to be lifted a couple of centimetres out of the rut is a liberating feeling. just to know that i'm working on it and not just digging deeper into the rut eases my mind and puts worry to rest, fills me with energy and enthusiasm. today i was kind of singing/humming to myself while dancing through the kitchen on the way to stir something or chop something else or both, and bruce looked up at me and smiled. i beamed back at him. "i missed the innocence." he said, referring to when i was away. "so do i." i thought to myself. as i've said before and i'll say it again, bruce is a sweet man and he seems to see a goodness in me that i don't see. the other day we were shopping together and he was staying behind me like he does when we both have a cart, but this was a small mid-week trip and so we only needed one cart, so i said " bruce, you can come up here and walk beside me." " ok," he said happily shuffling up beside me. "then i can see your radiance." (i'm not sure it was radiance, it could have been shine or another word like.)

rut lifting projects:
1. my car.- progress made- a. made a car washing party appointment with lisa. we'll do it at her house next thursday. she washes her car every week and has all the special supplies. b. cleaned out all the garbage and junk that has been loitering in my car since the summer. this includes but is not limited to, the pancake flip flops they gave fatima and i to wear out of our pedicure at the fairmont the day we watched napolean dynamite with steve before which we ate at earls, and all the articles i was given to read in my first couple of weeks of being hired, which are now all crumpled, damp and muddy along with my insurance policy given to me after three months of working, a bag of half eaten candy corn wedged way down on the side of my seat, (have no idea where that came from because i know i didn't buy it, but i ate some and it was still good. candy lasts forever donchya know.), old reciepts and parking vouchers, a soggy notebook, a freezy wrapper left from the summer when i ate ten a day, the vaseline that's been missing, and the witch pez dispenser. ironically i was listening to vinyl cafe while i was doing it and dave was cleaning out his car and having similar experiences, but worse. not that that's anything to be proud of since i haven't raised any children like dave has. (by the way i just finished listening to phone message. hilarious. i'm almost done. then what am i going to do?)

2. my laundry-progress made- a. finally did it. i was reaching the two week mark of being home, the last time laundry was done being the day before i left salt lake city. it was time and the outfits i was wearing were proof of that. (no, no moose fleece to work yet, but the need was fast approaching.) it's a wonderful thing to have a high stack of clean undies sitting in your drawer and do not make the mistake of underestimating it palie. i had such a mountain of laundry to do, i couldn't fit it all in my basket and had to borrow elicia's. that leads to b. put it away already. i had to, to give elicia back her tote. i did it during the commercials for gilmore girls, which was exciting because of the subplot of the wacky parents getting back together. sometimes in tv life, all it takes is a little jealousy.

3. taxes. -progress- a. thought about doing it very soon. b. planning on gathering up the papers this week. it's scary, but i think i can get through it. frankly i know it'll be scarier if i don't.

4. afore mentioned house search/research.

5. i'm getting excited about moving. i didn't think i would, but i am. i'm seeing it as a chance to start over, declutter, leave the chaos and inertia behind me in this basement. i looked up trashbusters this morning to see how much it would cost to get my dresser, computer desk and hutch carried away for good. just the thought of being rid of them elates me, therefore it must be a correct course of action.

6. i'm setting aside time every morning for my prayers because usually they get pushed aside and i'm rushing them with my mind out the door, or i'm saying them in my car. morning prayers are nice because usually no one is here and i can say them out loud and i don't know why but they become more meaningful and i feel connected and a connection with Heavenly Father is a good way to start the day.

7. last night i had supper at home. actually made it, and had it at a decent time. ok, it was tuna melts and my fave tomatoe roasted red pepper carton soup, but tuna melts used to be a staple every couple of weeks in my dinner menu and so i see it as an acceptable home made meal. way to go, pat on the back, etc.

if we get this house we're looking at tomorrow night, i'm going to buy an orchid. and i'm going to make my living space meaningful. i mean filled with things i love and that are beautiful to me, and that makes me happy. i think it's important for my mental health.

another mental health tip, is enough sleep. we're on our way sara, we're on our way. (what movie is that from?)

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