systems of support
safety pin bra now has some new friends. i don't know if they were good purchases, but i impulsively bought them.
feel tired and despondent. don't want to live the way i've been living the last couple of days. sometimes i don't know myself.
don't know how much longer i'll continue this blog. i may give it up and go back to my pen and paper days.
this morning i had a dream that i went to a new job, but i didn't tell lisa about it until the day of and i went there and it was like my work, but not good and i wanted to go back to my work and i couldn't think of why i changed. then i saw sue and told her my problem and was begging her for help and i woke up.
fatima and i took a long time to get ready on monday. let's just say we were slow wakers. and i was the slowest. i didn't want to get up, get going , get dressed or anything. when i was finally ready it was twoish. we went shopping. looking for a winter coat for me. i found one, but it had this thread problem on the collar, so i didn't get it. didn't find one anywhere else. spent a lot of time trying on support systems and examining from all angles until the changing room lady nagged "there are seven people waiting, you know!" i didn't buy any there. wasn't ready. some people know that i don't like to be rushed. others come to know. we were just making our way to transit to spend my christmas gift card, when the mall closed. it was quite a shock to have a mall closing at six after all the holiday hours. quite a shock indeed.
we met sarah and kyle (fatima's brother questioned "she's marrying a brown dude?" after looking at his picture), david-i-have-a-full-beard-now russell, dave-i'm-first-year-psychology-shepherd and mike hunter at amrikko's. amrikko's is a mediterranean sounding but in fact indian restaurant. mike's hiding behavior of choice: careful examination of his palm pilot. eventually ater dave s. brought up yook who was at his parent's house that very instant, mike actually looked up. it was this look up that made it possible to introduce fatima. fattycatty was rubbed the wrong way however. she got a little sparky when they discussed the topic of hr. i'll let her tell about it if she wants. all i'm going to say is 'mundane'. favourite quotes from my bearded cuz: 1.) i love indian food and everything to do with it. me: everything? the tandoori ovens? david: love em! wanna go look at them? wanna go look at them make the naan bread? i love watching them make naan! 2.) fatima i'm checking you out right now. 3.) can i hit on you fatima? she said he had to ask me and i said no. but why? he whined. because compared to us you're five years old. i'm dateable! he insisted fatima and i had our regular butter chicken and a prawn vindaloo.
ev and esther were at our house when we arrived back. when i got out of the bathroom or wherever i was, i joined everyone at the table. they were playing an impromptu game, using the cards from star performer in my cranium game. everyone just took a turn and did whatever they were handed. amrikko's taste sensations must have given me a kick start because i was full of this nervous hyper energy. i said all my guesses really fast and rapid fire after each other. it's hard to explain, but it was fun and everyone started doing it. we laughed a lot. esther stepped in cat barf.
we collected bethany and sarah, kyle fatima, bethany and i all went out to the movies. it's so great going to the movies whenever you want and not having to pay. really great. bethany got me a tray of popcorn. we were going to season it with bbq seasoning and salt and vinegar, but after liberally applying the bbq, we found the salt and vinegar empty. cruel fate. so we put a lot of white cheddar on instead. what ensued: a lot of coughing. everytime we would take a handful we would cough because there was so much powder and we were breathing it in. kylie smilie thought he was immune, but he alas he also succombed in the end. we saw finding neverland. it was wonderful. i want to see it again. i want to see phantom again too. i want to experience that good movie feeling. that feeling that takes you away. after the movie we went straight to bed. i read fatima a few pages from the toltec book of wisdom that she gave me. and then we fell right asleep, no talking. didn't even say goodnight.
the next day andrea arrived while i was packing. i got to hug her hello, model the hat she made me (kept it on because it went quite nicely with my outfit) and hug her goodbye a little while later. too bad she came when i was on my way out, but what can you do?
don't want to go to bed because i feel sickish inside and i don't want to wake up that way. need to go have a talk.
feel tired and despondent. don't want to live the way i've been living the last couple of days. sometimes i don't know myself.
don't know how much longer i'll continue this blog. i may give it up and go back to my pen and paper days.
this morning i had a dream that i went to a new job, but i didn't tell lisa about it until the day of and i went there and it was like my work, but not good and i wanted to go back to my work and i couldn't think of why i changed. then i saw sue and told her my problem and was begging her for help and i woke up.
fatima and i took a long time to get ready on monday. let's just say we were slow wakers. and i was the slowest. i didn't want to get up, get going , get dressed or anything. when i was finally ready it was twoish. we went shopping. looking for a winter coat for me. i found one, but it had this thread problem on the collar, so i didn't get it. didn't find one anywhere else. spent a lot of time trying on support systems and examining from all angles until the changing room lady nagged "there are seven people waiting, you know!" i didn't buy any there. wasn't ready. some people know that i don't like to be rushed. others come to know. we were just making our way to transit to spend my christmas gift card, when the mall closed. it was quite a shock to have a mall closing at six after all the holiday hours. quite a shock indeed.
we met sarah and kyle (fatima's brother questioned "she's marrying a brown dude?" after looking at his picture), david-i-have-a-full-beard-now russell, dave-i'm-first-year-psychology-shepherd and mike hunter at amrikko's. amrikko's is a mediterranean sounding but in fact indian restaurant. mike's hiding behavior of choice: careful examination of his palm pilot. eventually ater dave s. brought up yook who was at his parent's house that very instant, mike actually looked up. it was this look up that made it possible to introduce fatima. fattycatty was rubbed the wrong way however. she got a little sparky when they discussed the topic of hr. i'll let her tell about it if she wants. all i'm going to say is 'mundane'. favourite quotes from my bearded cuz: 1.) i love indian food and everything to do with it. me: everything? the tandoori ovens? david: love em! wanna go look at them? wanna go look at them make the naan bread? i love watching them make naan! 2.) fatima i'm checking you out right now. 3.) can i hit on you fatima? she said he had to ask me and i said no. but why? he whined. because compared to us you're five years old. i'm dateable! he insisted fatima and i had our regular butter chicken and a prawn vindaloo.
ev and esther were at our house when we arrived back. when i got out of the bathroom or wherever i was, i joined everyone at the table. they were playing an impromptu game, using the cards from star performer in my cranium game. everyone just took a turn and did whatever they were handed. amrikko's taste sensations must have given me a kick start because i was full of this nervous hyper energy. i said all my guesses really fast and rapid fire after each other. it's hard to explain, but it was fun and everyone started doing it. we laughed a lot. esther stepped in cat barf.
we collected bethany and sarah, kyle fatima, bethany and i all went out to the movies. it's so great going to the movies whenever you want and not having to pay. really great. bethany got me a tray of popcorn. we were going to season it with bbq seasoning and salt and vinegar, but after liberally applying the bbq, we found the salt and vinegar empty. cruel fate. so we put a lot of white cheddar on instead. what ensued: a lot of coughing. everytime we would take a handful we would cough because there was so much powder and we were breathing it in. kylie smilie thought he was immune, but he alas he also succombed in the end. we saw finding neverland. it was wonderful. i want to see it again. i want to see phantom again too. i want to experience that good movie feeling. that feeling that takes you away. after the movie we went straight to bed. i read fatima a few pages from the toltec book of wisdom that she gave me. and then we fell right asleep, no talking. didn't even say goodnight.
the next day andrea arrived while i was packing. i got to hug her hello, model the hat she made me (kept it on because it went quite nicely with my outfit) and hug her goodbye a little while later. too bad she came when i was on my way out, but what can you do?
don't want to go to bed because i feel sickish inside and i don't want to wake up that way. need to go have a talk.
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