i guess i've been withdrawn today. that's what elicia says. quiet and withdrawn. and karey asked me what my problem was when i wasn't excited about halloween costume ideas. i think it bugged her that i wouldn't commit and she wants to make plans and be prepared. but i don't feel it and so i won't commit. it's frustrating for her and i understand that but i can't change the way i feel. so i think her and elicia are going to be dutch girls. today i have little desire for anything. i think withdrawn was an acurate description. i didn't go with karey to do laundry and i didn't go with her and elicia on their little outing to north van. i wanted to be alone. i think it's true that the greatest battles are waged within. that's where all mine lie. sometimes things are so unclear. so i knit a lot and watched the conclusion of fellowship of the rings on channel three.

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