the computer just froze on forty five minutes worth of journal writing. feel like giving up and forgetting it and going to bed because it is in fact my bedtime now, (and i started off my entry by saying "i'm a tired tired be eyed weed.") but two things stop me: 1. i can hear gram sing songing "patience is a virtue posses it if you can, seldom found in women, but never in a man.". i chose to submit to patience learning in this instance. think i can become one of those few women if my life continues on its current trends. 2. i liked what i wrote and i want it written down. hard copied if you will. and i'm not willing to submit to losing it. not today. so i wrote down what i could see on the frozen tundra screen and jotted down an outline of the rest. so here goes:
after conference today we were invited over to heather, sarita and linda's for dinner but we came home first to change. karey changed into her pjs, so i did too. like a lamb or a randy, the two terms being interchangable. elicia would not be a randylamb however. she said her pjs were flannel and therefore too hot. i pointed out that she had other jammies. then she came out with the simple truth which was that she just didn't want to, but thanks for the suggestion. we were cool with that. i think it's funny the way she comes up with odd excuses at times. when we got there i realized they were ravenously hungry by the way they blessed the food right after we sat down. apparently they had been waiting for us for quite a while. chandra and nikki were there too. we had chicken soup and buns, as in turn the other cheek. a problem arose at dessert time because wyatt had given 'us' a pumpkin pie which we brought, and the girls had cake and ice cream for us too. heather solved this conundrum by saying "pie now, cake later." which is what we did. one of the things i like about the girls is that they are so ok about being themselves. they're real. real about being dessert piggies, in this case. we had a good time. we talked a lot and laughed a lot. ok, have you ever answered the phone "dear heavenly father" ? because i have. we talked about teruyuki because i was telling them about how i'm always a little nervous coming home alone late at night and how i like to rush in and lock the door behind me, but last night i botched my escape from the unknown lurkings of the backyard because my camera strap caught on the outside handle in my mad fumblings. linda said she saw yook at the mall and he was talking to himself. that saddened me. i hope he has someone to care about him.
apparently i smelled like onions today. that's what karey told me at conference today. this is somewhat alarming to myself because i couldn't smell it. what if i smell like onions at other times and just don't know it? what if i'm a regular sauerkraut factory stinko? also she said the lid to my water bottle reeked. two others witnessed to this fact. i had no idea. i think i may be smelling impaired. conclusion: maybe i should rethink wearing deoderant. typing deoderant just now gave me a flash back of alex. he was rolling the word off to fatima while waving his arms about in flowery gestures. "deodeRHANT" that pronounciation has stayed with her to this day.
last night at the mahler symphony i saw a girl from the club house in the lobby, ruth in the bathroom lobby and christine and lorreen were four rows ahead of us. that is they were until they snuck over to the middle section. this is something stephen does not believe in. (hey that rhymes.) we were sitting on the far right side near the front. this means we were behind the cellos and facing the violins. we decided we liked this spot because we could see bramwell tovey's face. he's not only expressive with his body, which i learned last time, but his face is full of animation as well. i love watching him. i like listening to the music through his body punctuation. he's kind of like a percussion instrument. he's so alive and vigourously into the music. almost as soon as he came in he fired up the orchestra and all of a sudden they were playing a rousing rendtition of O Canada. we all sort of stumbled up kind of surprised and started singing. i liked that. as soon as the anthem was over he disappeared again only to come out with the mezzo soprano ( i forget her name and my little booklet is in the car). she was younger and blonde and not so portly at all. there was also a children's bach choir and a women's bach choir. and by 'children' they mean teenagers. they sang in the 5th movement. the bim bam song. it was a very interesting symphony. at one moment it will be all big and dramatic and darkish with crashing cymbols and rolling drums and blaring horns and then there's some cheery almost swinging playful march type stuff but with huge sometimes startling crescendos and then quiet slower pieces. i loved the trumpet slo. it was beautiful. i heard a woman talking behind me as we walked down the street still crowded with symphony patrons. she said "and the trumpet solo was simply sublime." but she pronounced sublime 'subleem'.. she had a germanish accent, so that explains it. mahler said that this symphony (no.3) was like a musical poem about creation. suffering is deep but joy is deper than suffering.